just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
