dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
