just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
