After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
did i just pee glitter
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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