um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
