How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
