16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
