just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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