I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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