just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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