from now on my penis is your penis
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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