just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I am available for nakedness
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
