So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
