I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
