He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
