Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize