I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
