I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
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I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
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It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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