the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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