Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
