don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Randomize
