As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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