it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
