i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
that is very illegal...i love you.
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