No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
