At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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