There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
