There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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