Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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