honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
