It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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