I murdered the dance floor call the cops
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize