I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
