Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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