Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
