Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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