So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
