Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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