We're like a lot better than the average bears
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
