two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Is it because I queefed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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