seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
