Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Shame - the story of my life.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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