I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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