My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
