In the future we'll all be gay
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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