i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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