butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
