just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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