Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
why is half of my head shaved?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
