my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
