On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
