Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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