yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
