i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
