So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
